69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
