no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
