She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
