Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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