wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize