I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
