I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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