Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
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