it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
