Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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