I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Just pee around me
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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