I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
