I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize