I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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