you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
What a dumb baby whore.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
