I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize