I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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