Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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