why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
