i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i just google imaged poop.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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