did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
