So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
