Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
