Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
dude i'm inner monologue high
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
