in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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