Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
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