Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
