Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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