Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
