It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
