I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize