am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
