Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
