yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize