Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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