Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
