I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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