We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
