I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
