Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
