he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
