the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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