I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
