Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
