I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
you would pick up someone in the library
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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