I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
