Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
