the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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