He is such a slut. More and more my type.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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