There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
