My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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