he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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