# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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