I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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