if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
